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Author:
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thinkpink20Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Dakin/Irwin
Words: 345
Notes: I'm new and I thought I would supply fic in order to say hello :) Comments always extremely welcome!
There are few things as powerful as wanting.
Regret; that comes close. The fine art of wondering what might have been; Dakin knows all about that. He sometimes wonders whether he is perpetually stuck in that classroom, in the eighties world of so long ago - he himself has become history now; all his dreams were frozen in one year.
Because nothing, no University education or life afterwards have ever quite matched those years, those specific few months when the right appearance of his hair was really, really important. He has never had the same buzz, walking through cloisters as he did sitting out on the lawns with shirt sleeves rolled up or leaning just out of sight of Felix to light up his cigarette.
Nothing feels the same, not sex, not friendship. Not history. He has not learnt like that since; learnt what the very essence of feeling alive was like, feeling excitement or devilry shooting up every sinew of his arms.
He has never been so desperate to catch anyone’s eye, either. He has never tried so hard to please, never pushed as many boundaries. It almost feels as though his entire life was contained there, in those few real months from the moment Irwin arrived until they all left, feeling the hollow loss of Hector. Maybe people only get one shot at life, real life, and that was his.
Of course he has had other things, girls and jobs and homes and eventually, a family. He has seen glorious autumn mornings where the sky is red and the leaves are falling softly like snowflakes, readying the world for winter. He has seen people he loves die, has been to funerals and cried real, solid tears. He has made vows and kept them (surprisingly), but he has never felt want or longing like that.
Maybe that is the art of history, the creation of detachment from a subject - it makes it powerful and meaningful because finally, only when it has gone, do you realise how much it meant.
December 29 2007, 17:14:43 UTC 4 years ago
December 29 2007, 20:08:05 UTC 4 years ago
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4 years ago
December 29 2007, 20:36:06 UTC 4 years ago
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January 2 2008, 02:34:11 UTC 4 years ago
January 2 2008, 02:35:09 UTC 4 years ago
kd
January 3 2008, 19:34:23 UTC 4 years ago
"It almost feels as though his entire life was contained there, in those few real months from the moment Irwin arrived until they all left, feeling the hollow loss of Hector. Maybe people only get one shot at life, real life, and that was his."
January 4 2008, 11:01:59 UTC 4 years ago
April 14 2008, 19:50:46 UTC 4 years ago
I'm not being funny, but you are fantastic :D
It catches Dakin so well. Superficially he seems very shallow, but you can imagine him having these very thoughts when he's older and nostalgic. The last sentence, especially, is pure brilliance. If I could write with even half as much insight into characters as you, I'd be happy!
April 14 2008, 20:02:12 UTC 4 years ago
*blushes* You being nice to me makes me want to squidge you, you know that, don't you? *giggles*
Aww, thank you :) I love the idea that Dakin has so, so many layers underneath. I'm also a bit in love with the idea that he really only drops his facade for Irwin - I could write/ramble about it for hours. You're utterly lovely for saying such things, I shall just go and blush a bit more about it. *hugs*
April 14 2008, 20:48:07 UTC 4 years ago
I feel you should channel your love for Dakin's facade dropping into more fic *grin* I feel the same, actually. He's like a little puppy dog, so eager to please and be loved. It's almost like hero-worship, except that Dakin is often more worldly than Irwin. I'm never sure who has the upper hand.
April 15 2008, 09:27:59 UTC 4 years ago
*grins* I only ever say that to authors I really love, so you might just have made my day :) I don't bother with fic I don't love, either, and your opinion means a lot, so thank you. *happy*
:D I do want to write more HB fic, definately - especially Dakin - but my muse is so sluggish these days, I struggle over pieces for weeks and in the end I'm so dissatisfied with them, I just stop. It's been like that since I wrote my dissertation last year, so I'm blaming that *grins* That's such an interesting point you've made, about the hero worship but at the same time Dakin is more worldly - I'd love to investigate that and do the idea justice! :)
4 years ago
July 19 2008, 21:27:15 UTC 3 years ago
I love it!
July 20 2008, 10:28:26 UTC 3 years ago
Really glad you liked.
November 16 2009, 21:30:52 UTC 2 years ago
November 17 2009, 23:38:54 UTC 2 years ago
Oh, so true. I wish someone had said when I was small, at least I'd have been prepared :) And I agree about Dakin, reaching such a high point at such an early age; he was one of the most human of the boys too, behind his bravado.
November 17 2009, 23:44:00 UTC 2 years ago
Dakin can be insensitive at times but he's never malicious. You could see how much he wanted to impress Irwin. I think he's quite confident but there's that need to be liked.
November 18 2009, 00:04:20 UTC 2 years ago Edited: November 18 2009, 00:05:05 UTC
I think his need to impress Irwin was the one 'young' thing about him; he acted older, more cool than the others with the cool hair and the girlfriend. But Irwin made him just another teenager.
November 18 2009, 00:18:07 UTC 2 years ago
Good point, with the boys he was the cool leader but with Irwin you remembered just how young Dakin was.